I have to admit, ANTM snuck up on me this week. I’ve been real busy with work that I haven’t been able to devote my time deciphering what Natasha is saying whenever she opens her mouth on this show. I hope there’s more of her this week! Forget predictions about who’s going to win. I want to know the next installment of Tyra’s headwear evolution.

8:02
Is anyone else somewhat bothered with the breathy theme song? Erks me every time.

The Break Breakdown
Let’s relive this, shall we?

8:05
Why hasn’t Dionne stepped up and pushed the geeky little boy that is Sarah. The only reason she got to see the extra frame because of Dionne’s previous work in retail.

8:06
Jaslene totally knows Melrose from all her amazing work. Like ANTM Cycle 7 and … ANTM Cycle 7. Go Fug Yourself? Oh wait, I don’t know if Jaslene does anything besides that “walk.”

8:09
Why doesn’t she have a stimulating conversation with all of her hoodie scarves.

8:12
Oh dear lord. Tyra must HATE Brittany. That hair. It’s so bad. All of the worst words cannot describe!

8:13
I don’t care how important you are, don’t offer someone a hankie and tell them not to get it dirty. Son, you can afford another Hermes hankie!

8:15
Pushing Jael into the pool is giving her too much gratification. “He thinks I’m cool and wants to mess with me! Dude, let’s hula hoop out our troubles!”

The Break Breakdown
So I realized the above Natasha clip is actually a bonus clip from YouTube user Harperslee. I don’t know where she got them, but when this episode is over, I’m going to check out all the bonus issues.

8:19
Okay, seriously, Jael is cracked out! So sad that my lovely Nata had to be dragged into it.

8:21
And she wears her hoodie-scarf to the party. And the stimulating conversation? Glad she decided to go with Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton.

8:23
Don’t get me wrong, but I love a crazy crackhead just as much as the next person. But I am Team Renee in this one. She’s prettier. And that’s what matters.

And Jael stole Natasha’s winning trait. She takes negative feedback from Benny Boy and makes it a positive. Don’t try and steal from my Nata!

8:27
Oh dear. Jael doing her own makeup? I’m thinking finger paint, tie dye and dirt.

8:30
How appropriate that Jaslene chose Drag Queen as a personality. I know that was a strong jaw/chin!

8:32
I thought models were supposed to pose? I’m confused. Does he mean she’s not believable?

8:33
OH MAN! I want Renee’s shirt. If you love me, you’ll help me find it!

8:35
Okay the next installment of Tyra-I-love-myself-counseling started off with a sleeve weave cover. Those producers love me.

8:36
Um, hello! Brittany needs to speak up? That think looks awful, it speaks for itself.

8:37
Yes, Tyra the counselor says the best way to feel better is to have everyone talk crap about you! She must have a doctorate in that stuff. Tear-induceology?

The Break Breakdown
For those really missing Kathleen (she actually provides an accurate description of Tyra, better than the KTLA anchor). Also, hear Tyra bag on Giselle and other models:

8:44
Tyra’s drunk. For sure.

8:46
NeNe is a NO NO. As in Sha-Nay-Nay. Ugh.

8:47
How is Brittany’s hair still not fixed?! It’s red death. It’s a disease and I’m taking some vitamins in case it’s transferred through the TV. I’m pretty sure whatever infested molecules make up that mess are strong enough to do that.

8:48
Jaslene’s super identities? Dimple chin, dimple chin, dimple chin, and … dimple chin.

8:49
Brown instead of Dionne? As in Charlie? C’mon Tyra. May as well be Dijon.

8:55
Does Tyra have spiders on her eyes? Maybe it’s Brittany’s hair attacking.

And please send Jael home. Can’t. Stand. Her.

8:56
Or maybe Tyra figured it out. Jaslene’s from the circus.

8:57
Sarah or Whitney. Hmm. Either could go.

Bye-bye Sarah. I don’t really think it’s the best idea, but have fun. There’s a big market in modeling little boys’ pajamas.

8:59
Whoa, I never realized how scandalous that group shot is. Eeek. This is a prime time show!

And did I miss the next week previews?! Sometimes I find that I don’t pay attention. I must be in shock from the shenanigans that just occurred.

Until next week: Forget about preserving your sexy. Like Nigel told NeNe, you too can afford to be ugly.